2014 Expert Witness Pazz & Jop Album Poll Results


This is a sincere imitation of Robert Christgau's Pazz & Jop brainchild, so we might as well do it justice: 

It was the worst year since last year, or whatever.

It really wasn't. It was, in fact, quite a spectacular year for popular (and not so) music - though you wouldn't know it by the results. The increasingly less-and-less obscure Cincinnati product, the little indie drone outfit that could, our banded heroes yclept Wussy obliterated all comers - be they multiplatinum blondes or, well, gross little twee rock futon-comers. Attica!, either the best or second best Wussy record by broad concurrence (or merely an A- if you're a hipster doofus), appeared on 49 of 61 ballots. That's roughly 80%, for those of you at home who aren't stat meganauts from New Zealand. It earned 813 points, which is 67% more than the second place New Gods by Withered Hand, and 3x as many as all albums outside the top four. 

The real intrigue was for second place. New Gods edged out Miranda Lambert's sassy, sexy, and wonderful Platinum on, yes, the last ballot tallied. It had, until about an hour ago, trailed the whole way. That's not a comeback story because I could have tallied results in any order, and in some possible universe Withered Hand could have led from the start. But, at any rate, in any order, it was a fascinating race to witness. Two points are a distinction not cost effective, pal. Buy both. In fact, buy just about everything we've listed. 

Speaking of, we have elected to include all albums that earned more than 31 points, a cutoff that ensures that all listed albums were voted for at least twice. To see all 175 mentioned albums, click here. Otherwise, enjoy the list below. 


First Place

Attica! - Wussy

813 Points

49 Mentions

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Second Place

New Gods - Withered Hand

486 Points

34 Mentions


Third Place

Platinum - Miranda Lambert

484 Points

42 Mentions


Fourth Place

Most Messed Up - Old 97's

286 Points

30 Mentions


Fifth Place

English Oceans - Drive-By Truckers

228 Points

21 Mentions


Sixth Place

Sheezus - Lily Allen

212 Points

19 Mentions


Seventh Place

Broke With Expensive Taste - Azealia Banks

201 Points

21 Mentions


Eighth Place

Sunbathing Animal - Parquet Courts

159 Points

19 Mentions


Ninth Place

Black Messiah - D'Angelo and The Vanguard

144 Points

15 Mentions


Tenth Place

American Middle Class - Angaleena Presley

138 Points

14 Mentions


11. Black Portland - Young Thug & Bloody Jay

  • 134 Points
  • 13 Mentions

12. Nikki-Nack - tUnE-yArDs

  • 96 Points
  • 10 Mentions

13. Love, Marriage & Divorce - Toni Braxton & Babyface

  • 93 Points
  • 11 Mentions

14. Talk Dirty - Jason Derulo

  • 89 Points
  • 12 Mentions

15. Run The Jewels 2 - Run The Jewels

  • 81 Points
  • 9 Mentions

16. 1989 - Taylor Swift 

  • 80 Points
  • 12 Mentions

17. The Voyager - Jenny Lewis

  • 73 Points
  • 10 Mentions

18. Transgender Dyshoria Blues - Against Me!

  • 68 Points
  • 7 Mentions

19. They Want My Soul - Spoon

  • 66 Points
  • 9 Mentions

20. Sisyphus - Sisyphus 

  • 54 Points
  • 5 Mentions

21. Here Be Monsters - Jon Langford & Skull Orchestra

  • 51 Points
  • 5 Mentions

22. Metamodern Sounds in Country Music - Sturgill Simpson

  • 49 Points
  • 4 Mentions

23. Somewhere Else - Lydia Loveless

  • 46 Points
  • 4 Mentions

24. What Have We Become - Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott

  • 44 Points
  • 6 Mentions

25. St. Vincent - St. Vincent

  • 44 Points
  • 5 Mentions

26. Beauty and Ruin - Bob Mould

  • 43 Points
  • 5 Mention

27. Rips - Ex Hex

  • 39 Points
  • 3 Mentions

28. Popular Problems - Leonard Cohen

  • 39 Points
  • 3 Mentions

29. Jaiyede Afro - Orlando Julius with the Heliocentrics

  • 38 Points
  • 4 Mentions

30. The Zookeeper's House - Jemeel Moondoc

  • 37 Points
  • 3 Mentions

31. Shofarot Verses - Paul Shapiro 

  • 33 Points
  • 3 Mentions

32. Seeds - TV on the Radio 

  • 32 Points
  • 3 Mentions